I like to think that being a role model is easy and--to some extent--it is.The crazy thing it that I've had to define it in a way that fits me and my family situation. I'm writing this post because this topic has come up in conversations with friends, family, and neighbors recently. I love how many parents look to their own parents as role models, and even how some encourage their children to look to celebrities, scientists, and political figures like President Obama.
My husband and I come from very different backgrounds, but share many of the same struggles and dreams. His parenting, discipline, and loving styles vary from my own in many ways. I see him as being a loose cannon sometimes and just hope to see the girls come back in one piece =) On the other hand, I see myself as more of an apron wearing drill sergeant with a cookie in hand. (I'm so glad that he doesn't see me that way)! I believe firmly in "well-behaved" children in the know-your- manners-address-people-properly-pick-up-after-yourself kind of way. I never bark orders at my girls, but they do know when mama means business. At the end of the day, these are the things that help to keep us connected.
I have often times had to self-reflect on what it means to be a good role model. Most people loosely translate it as: looking good on paper, publicly, or in the community. Almost like a switch that you turn on and off when no one is looking. But as we know that it doesn't begin or end there. As a parent, the switch is always on because your children watch you all the time. It's like surveillance! This made me self-reflect on the things I feel make great role models. This is what it means to me:
A good role model understands that there will be times that you aren't "good." Every now and then we do questionable things, but that is all part of being a human being. The best part is that we can apologize and learn from our mistakes. Even if it means apologizing to our kids. We may not be children, but we still have tons to learn.
A good role model doesn't mind admitting when they don't know something. I can't tell you how many times I've admitted to not having all of the answers to things Dimaya will ask. Considering she's asked the same 10 questions a trillions times, you'd think I would know by now =)
A good role model stands up for something they believe in. Everyone may not believe in the same things, but when you find what strikes a chord in your heart...believe in it with every bit of yourself. Try taking a stand on something. I believe passionately in standing up against racism. I vowed to interrupt it when I see or hear it. I want to encourage my children to stand up and fight for something as well.
A good role model is a game changer! There is nothing about me that is just like the next person. That goes for everyone! Being orthodox or traditional is fine, if you feel it works for you. But think about it...we look up to people who change the game! Most of them have overcome adversity in their lives or have a unique story that inspires us. I prefer an unorthodox kind of thinking that fuels my very life and people don't like it...then don't. I don't know how may parents feel they should take all of the parenting advice from their own parents or other parents. Pick and choose! Your kid is unique and it's okay to change the game!
I just wanted to share a little with you, but please feel free to tell me your thoughts on this post.
